By
Sergio Mendez
I'd rather know if you have turn the page
Am I friend, am I lover
What do we mean to each other,
I can see clearly how I'm hurting you
Am I friend, am I lover
What do we mean to each other,
What do we mean to each other,
Time became the poison working slowly on my heart
When you touch me
What do we mean to each other,
What do we mean to each other,
What do we mean to each other,
Do you love me still
*** Dedicated to YOU!! Hahaha!! Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan, may bukol!! :-)
Is locked and set in time,
And moving to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can’t hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing else can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won’t let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though the memories stay.
We were together that night.
I was so excited.
I was grinning like a fool the whole day.
I could hardly wait to see you again.
It was one of the best nights of my life...
I never would have thought nor predicted that one of the most memorable days of my life would become the reason for some of my most miserable moments...
Exactly a year has passed since then... I vividly remember that day as if it only happened yesterday...
A lot of times, I prayed that it didn't happen... That I didn't have to have a hand in it.... But it did, and I had... It was not just a bad dream. It was my sad reality.
" Everything happens for a reason. "
Maybe I still don't understand the reason behind all of these. But in time, I know I will.
A lot of things changed. We could never bring back whatever was there before.
I hate to admit this, but all that's left is the taste of the bitterness between us…
If I could turn back time, would I change anything that happened? Probably. But I can't. So what's the use of hoping I could.
I realized, just now, that there's nothing to go back to. It may still change. It may not. But, that's another story. Anyway, Happy Anniversary to me.
Have a dog. (True!!! Ang saya kaya ng may babies in fur coat! :-D) 
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Remember other people’s birthdays. 
Have a firm handshake.
Look people in the eye.
Say “thank you” a lot.
Say “please” a lot.
Learn to play a musical instrument. (Time to go to that violin class i guess, hehehe..) 
Sing in the shower. (I do, good thing ____ didn't hear hear me, hahaha)
Be the first to say, “Hello.”
Live beneath your means.
Be forgiving of yourself and others. (I'm crossing my fingers)
Floss your teeth. (Duh, who doesn't.)
Drink champagnefor no reason at all. (Or whatever beverage for that matter.)
Teach some kind of class.
Be a student in some kind of class.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated. (True!!)
Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
Keep secrets.
Don’t postpone joy.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. (Hmmm....)
Avoid overexposure to the sun.
Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts. 
Admit your mistakes.
Use your wit to amuse, not abuse.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Demand excellence and be willing to pay for it.
Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
Learn to make something beautiful with your hands.
Never forget your anniversary.
Don’t take good health for granted.
Don’t mess with drugs, and don’t associate with those who do.
Slow dance.
Avoid sarcastic remarks.
In business and in family relationships, remember that the most important thing is trust.
Don’t smoke. 
Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people who’ll never find out.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it’s just a daisy in a jelly glass.
Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
Smile a lot. It costs nothing and is beyond price. 
Don’t buy expensive wine, luggage, or watches.
Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly. (Or doesn't knock at all, it just comes and goes.)
Know how to change a tire.
Know how to tie a bow tie. 
Wear audacious underwear under the most solemn business attire. (Agree!)
Remember people’s names.
Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.
Give yourself an hour to cool off before responding top someone who has provoked you. If it involves something really important, give yourself overnight.
Learn to handle a pistol and rifle safely.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Take time to smell the roses. 
Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.
Don’t waste time responding to your critics.
Avoid negative people.
Be original.
Be neat.
Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.
Be kinder than necessary.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.
Never take action when you’re angry.
Be romantic.
Let people know what you stand for --- and what you won’t stand for.
Don’t quit a job until you’ve lined up another.
Measure people by the size of their hearts, not the size of their bank accounts.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Have good composure. Enter a room with purpose and confidence.
Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don’t carry a grudge.
Show respect for all living things. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
Commit yourself to constant self-improvement.
Take your dog to obedience school. You’ll both learn a lot. 
Don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
When complimented, a sincere “thank you” is the only response is required.
Don’t plan a long evening on a blind date. A lunch date is perfect. If things don’t work out, both of you have only wasted an hour. (Geez, I should have read this ages ago...)
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
Never tell anyone they look tired or depressed.
When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
Keep good company.
Keep your promises.
Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war.
Don’t be deceived by first impressions.
Seek out the good in people.
Drink eight glasses of water everyday.
Never cut what can be untied.
Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don’t feel like it.
Take good care of those you love.
Keep it simple.
Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
Lie on your back and look at the stars.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
No matter how dire the situation, keep your cool.
Practice empathy. Try to see things from other people’s point of view.
Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
Don’t spread yourself too thin. Learn to say no politely and quickly. (I actually realized that I have been spreading myself thin lately and I plan to change it IMMEDIATELY.)
Accept pain and disappointment as part of life.
Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person.
Don’t believe people when they ask you to be honest with them. (Hahaha, I hope I didn't believe those who said that in the past..)
Don’t expect life to be fair.
Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health and love.
Never underestimate the power of love. 
Never underestimate the power of forgiveness.
Learn to disagree without being disagreeable.
Be tactful. Never alienate anyone on purpose.
Be wary of people who tell you how honest they are.
Rekindle old friendships.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Live your life so that your epitaph could read, “No regrets.” 
Don’t be fooled. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Be there when people need you.
Be prepared to lose once in a while.
Know when to keep silent.
Know when to speak up.
Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
Be loyal.
Never give a loved one a gift that suggests they need improvement.
Laugh a lot. A good sense of humor cures almost all of life’s ills. 
Never underestimate the power of a kind word or deed.
Look for opportunities to make people feel important.
Don’t miss the magic of the moment by focusing on what’s to come. (But not too preoccupied to forget reality...)
Never underestimate the power of words to heal and reconcile relationships.
Marry only for love. (Get that into your head Cha!!!)
Count your blessings. (And be thankful for them of course.)
** With people, it's not just what is given that counts. It's also how what is given is received.
** With love you reached out for somebody else. Sure, she laughed, but maybe that was only because she understood one thing you didn't: That within Iris Glazer, there is precious little worth loving.
** Tough enough to tolerate anybody's punishment. And tough enough that nobody in this world would ever be capable of destroying that which was indestructible. Indestructible. I know more about that now. The ulcer taught me that there's no such thing as indestructible. It's just another one of my Webster's International Dictionary words. The ulcer also taught me a little something about guilt. It showed me that I didn't have to feel guilty anymore, for they weren't the only ones paying a price.
** " You're easy to love." --- "I want to be... for you."
** "Without an understanding of the inherent risks, your sacrifice would be without value. "If you did not understand the inherent risks that you took in behalf of this man, then your sacrifices would be diminished."
** "Only that I could do it. That I, surprisingly actually, had the strength to do it. Also there was that view from the heights. That's when I saw --- clearly saw --- that there was more than one mountain in my life. Some could be seen and some couldn't be, but just the same, they were all out there. All out there waiting for me. But what was climbed was already climbed, and I understand now that I'll never have to chase that vision or scale that particular mountain again."
Geez! It's about time.
Time to go forward and simply glance at where I once was from where I am now.
Wallowing in sadness may have been a bit self-destructive at times, but I think giving my self the chance to "emote to my heart's content" satisfied my need to lament about the whole thing and simply pass through the "normal" stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and ACCEPTANCE). Not that everybody really needs to go through it, but I think I needed to.. This time.
This goes out to YOU...
I saw an old friend of ours today.
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say.
Heard you've been makin' the rounds round here.
While I've been tryin' to make the tears disappear.
Now I'm almost over you.
I've almost shook these blues.
So when you come back around.
After painting the town you'll see.
That I'm almost over you.
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart.
For you leavin' come easy but it tore me apart.
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know.
'Cause it seems like forever but I'm lettin' you go.
Now I'm almost over you.
I've almost shook these blues.
So when you come back around.
After painting the town you'll see.
That I'm almost over you.
I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams.
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery.
Now I'm almost over you.
I've almost shook these blues.
So when you come back around.
After painting the town you'll see.
That I'm almost over you.
Ironically, that same chika buddy sent me this message:
" I cried so many times because of a love lost and a love I never really had. I suffered pain worse than dying. But feelings change and there's one lesson that everybody should learn in time. MOVE ON."
*** This goes out to my chika buddy.. PAK!
You are then forced to go through the motions of everyday but you feel as if you're just a spectator... a person viewing your life from the outside.
But how can you leave the solace loneliness provides... when venturing out of that self-made cocoon would mean letting go... letting go of whatever made you feel bad in the first place.
